Things Aren't Always As They Seem
I know there are many like me out there but sometimes I feel very alone. I do love Robert very much, but then sometimes I have this hate for how his problem affects me. I wasn't married to him while he was in Vietnam, I knew him before he went, but we had been broke up for over a year and living in different states at the time he was sent to Nam. We both went on to be with others.
I had a wonderful marriage for 23 years to a great man who died much too young. We had two sons together, and I really never thought about Robert until a year after I was widowed and a mutual friend of ours got us to talking to each other on the phone and it evolved into a relationship.
Robert had been through two marriages, and had been in treatment for his PTSD and medical care for the wounds he got in Nam numerous times. He had all the typical problems of the stressed out Vietnam vet, but when he came here to Arizona from California to meet me and my kids, he said his life began again, and he finally found something he knew he didn't want to lose. That was nearly 10 years ago.
We had our ups and downs like everyone else, lived together, parted a couple of times for different reasons, but he was always there for me, and my sons were as dear to him as his own children, maybe even closer. But I was there for him too, and did all I could to try to learn and understand everything I could find out about PTSD and the problems that go along with it. His medical problems are a small part since I am a nurse at the Veterans Hospital, and can handle those things.
We got married two years ago, and we love each other very much but this "thing" keeps popping up now and then. Robert has no problems going to his counseling sessions, but the medications the doctor put him on cause him to be very lethargic and sometimes forgetful.
Our boys, who are also in the Marines, they care for him so much they wanted to be the kind of Marine Robert was. They don't like to see him going through the nightmares, depressed feelings, and medical problems that PTSD can do to a person, but they try to be with him as much as possible.
I just feel like I go through some of the same problems, but no one sees that. Oh God, I hate to complain, but it hurts real bad sometimes, and I have to hide my tears so Robert doesn't see because I know he would feel so bad that he has caused me pain. Thanks for being here to listen, I can really relate to anyone out there who is going through the same problems.
Bless you all,