Veterans Day Weekend at The Wall

November 10-11, 2000
By Don Lavetter, H&S 3/5, 1968-69

I, along with 40 some other men were selected by the Phoenix Arizona Veteran's Center to attend Veterans Day festivities at The "Wall" in Washington, DC. The trip was sponsored and paid for by Southwest Air, The Vet Centers of Arizona, and various local organizations.

This trip for me has been the most significant life-changing event I have ever experienced. There are not words to describe how I feel. The best I can do is to tell the story of the 4 days surrounding Veterans Day 2000. They call it "Operation Freedom Bird."

We departed Nov. 9th from Phoenix Intl. Airport. The Flight attendant announces the boarding instructions and over the load speaker she says, "We have some honored guests traveling with us today." The men with the black hats are Vietnam Veterans." At that time everyone in terminal applauded us. This is one of those feelings I can't yet describe, except I could not hold the tears back. I'm sure many of the other men did the same. I knew at that time this was going to be a very emotional 4 days.

It's about a 4-hour flight from Phoenix to Baltimore/Washington Airport where a bus is waiting to take to us to Arlington Sheraton National Hotel. First-class accommodations. We check in, have a quick dinner, and to "The Wall." It is about 10 PM, cold and wet from the earlier rainfall. The Wall is stone cold, the moisture makes it look as though its crying. The silence is eerie, but somehow peaceful. The granite wall is dark and gray. Tall in the middle, and tapers down to nothing at either end of the long corridor. 

As I walked to face The Wall, I felt like I was alone, no one else was around. It was nothing like I have ever seen before. Death scribed from top to bottom. The names, the brothers, the men that died so I could live. I touched The Wall, and it all of a sudden came to life. Like a meeting hall with low chatter waiting for the gavel to drop to bring the gathering to order. Though not everyone scribed on The Wall was there, some have passed on to their final destiny with who ever they were supposed to be with. The rest of them still waiting for friends and family to complete their journey.

I had to find a friend I lost in battle. Scrolling and scrolling, I found his name. Touched his etching, the hall became silent once again as they summoned him forward. All eyes on us as we connect for the first time in 31 years. He was smiling and said, "It's all right Don, I'm OK here." Then disappeared into the crowd. Once again the tears flowed. Ya see, this is the first time I have connected the my feminine side. I know there is a term for it, I just don't know it...

SGT. RANDALL EDWARD RAMSDEN 

25th Infantry Division 
Born on Sept. 19, 1949
From LA SALLE, ILLINOIS
Length of service 1 year.
His tour of duty began on Oct. 8, 1969
Casualty was on Jan. 5, 1970
in HUA NGHIA, SOUTH VIETNAM

Panel 15W - - Line 130

Veterans Day

Veteran's day was a busy one. We had VIP seating for the main festivities. Various speakers talking about shit no one cares about. There was a folk singer, John McDermott, signing his version of "The Wall" it was beautiful. But at the end of the ceremonies they closed with "Taps." Then all my emotions flowed. My tears are like rivers. Tears that seamed to drain my body of the feelings of misunderstandings, pain, confusion and anxiety.

As the crowd dispersed I just sat there. I felt relieved in many ways. I felt as though a huge burden was lifted form my shoulders. The burden of why me, why did I get to live and not him. The burden of if I would have reacted faster would he have not died. I'm letting go and understanding it was not my fault. I know he knows, I know he understands. Once again I don't have words for this strange feeling of peace with in me.

Walking around the memorial and just watching all the people. Hundreds pass by as we exchange looks. You can tell who the Vets are by the look in their eyes. It's a look only we know. The look of "I know my brother, I know."

This takes me right back into the bush. I was only about 135 lbs. and just turned 20 years old. As radio operator, I  had to hump all my gear plus PRC25 (radio), a PRC77 (cypher unit that decodes transmissions so the gooks can't understand what we say), a .45 pistol, an M-16 rifle with two bandoleer's of ammo. I also carried an M-79 grenade launcher (AKA "blooper"). That was my favorite weapon. I clutched that puppy like a security blanket.  I was prepared for anything! Oh yeah, and some C-4 just in case I need to blow something up. Most of the time I used the C-4 to heat up rations. Talk about a hot stove, in about 5 seconds I had a hot meal.

My feet are getting tired from walking around and around. I sat down on a bench and saw some squirrels begging for food. So I laid in the grass and played with them for about and hour. I think that was one of the highlights of my trip.

Ether their bellies are full or they just got tired of goof-n with me. So off they ran to find some better company. Next was another emotional rush. Walking about the park this woman came up to me and hand me a red rose and said "Thank you." Here come the tears again, this time I'm feeling for the very first time, Honored. Someone appreciates my contribution I made for my country. So thank you for recognizing.

I've always lived in Arizona. We only have two seasons here. Summer and winter. In DC the autumn is so beautiful. The trees turning golden brown, rolling hills of green grass. The best place to take that in is at Arlington Cemetery. There is so much beauty here, so peaceful and calm. 

The tomb of the unknown soldier is guarded 24 hours a day 7 days a week. A changing of the guard every hour. That is a must see if you ever get that way.

I met Jesse Jackson in DC (actually, our hotel bellhop).

Coming Home

The plane ride home was a long 5 hours. Time to reflect on the past few days. I didn't want to come home. I knew my life would be not be the same after this experience. I don't know if I want to continue doing the same old shit I've been doing all these years. Pretending everything is OK when it's not. But one thing is for sure. I need to look at things more openly. Appreciate the little things in life.

It doesn't feel quite over yet. Something is missing. As the plane lands, over the intercom, they ask all passengers to exit, and the "Freedom Bird" group to remain seated. We waited about 5 minutes, and it's our turn to exit. Up the corridor and into the terminal.....My God this place is packed with people, hundreds of them. It's all decorated in red, white and blue. Balloons and streamers and all kinds of stuff. The crowd cheers and applauds. "Welcome Home!" As I type this I'm reliving the experience, and tears again pouring from my eyes.

My family is here to great me as well as the family of the other men. The news stations are here filming the event. The Marine Corps Color Guard is here to honor just us. Ever see 40 men sit together and cry their hearts out? 31 years later we get the homecoming we never had when we needed it. But it's here now!

Thank you so much for listening to my stories. I have another family. All of you that have touched my heart in many ways. Some of you more than you can ever imagine. And those of you that have friends or loved ones that lived in the Vietnam Era, we have a common ground and understanding.

I would rather be passive, like a guest
than to be aggressive, like a host.
I would rather retreat a foot
than advance an inch.

This is called going forward without instigating
Engaging without force
Defense without hatred
Victory without weapons

Peace  

 

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